How to cooperate and get a common goal


Why sometimes the proverb that it’s best to be your own man is true?   When is working together is a good choice? What about duets and goals?

Minuet for four hands

The hall is full. People clap their hands. In a moment I’ll sit by the piano and I’ll play a minuet. In a duo. Besides of stress I feel much excited. And suddenly, I hear the first bars of the minuet. I’m in panic!

It happened when I was 12 but it gave a good lesson. True cooperation is based on sharing mindfulness – two people are focused on each other. If you don’t focus on the other person and your partner doesn’t focus on you, you won’t get the goal.

Duet is good when two people create and produce a new thing (which can be a product , a service, an event) and they realize that they couldn’t have produced it on their own.


Why we get lost cooperating with others

Together can be better. It can be more effective. It happens that without another person it’d be hard to run a project, like Charms of Business. So if cooperation is so great why can people get lost working together with others? Below some things which are crucial to remember:

  1. discuss in details finance and settlement,
  2. don’t  prioritize your goal over your common goal,

3.don’t focus on the thought: what can I get from it, but know well: what you can give people together,

  1. establish clear rules of cooperation ( what is allowed and what is not)
  2. don’t guess – just ask and talk,
  3. if your cooperation doesn’t work, finish it.


Hunting a bull and true cooperation

I’m in the middle of a project with Anna Urbańska. We are working together. We have a common goal. There is mutual mindfulness. The experience connected with working on a guide book How to build a good image in 30 days reminds me about formulating a common goal which is described *Bratman. And he took as an example hunting a bull and following his example I would describe our good cooperation this way:

  1. my aim is to publish the book together with Anna,
  2. Anna’s aim is to publish the book together with me,
  3. we shared the knowledge and we know our common goal well,
  4. our goal is not publishing together, but something more: creating, working, publishing and sharing; all together.



*Bratman M 1992 Shared cooperative activity, “Philosophical Review”, nr 101 (2), s. 327-341

Proofreader: Marta Korsak.

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