Do you know the word which destroys communication?

02.01.2016

Some people claim that there is this most important word. The strongest one. Others learn to use it for protection. On the other hand, many people realize that this word destroys a lot. What words is it and is it so strong?

The word “no” activates in seconds a disaster

I show you the word “no” and in your brain some changes have started immediately. Less than 1 second is enough to start a process. The process of production stress hormones and transmitters. How do I know it? Thanks to such diagnostic methods like fMRI. So your brain does not work properly. You say “no”, you repeat “no” and production such substances as adrenaline, catecholamines, cortisol have started. We (keep in mind brain) react to a negative word at once and this word influences what we say / do (or what we neither say nor do).

Using negative words you are responsible not only for processes in your brain, bit also for changes in brains of people who can hear such words. In brains of all people who were attacked by the word “no” or other negative words some (unhealthy) processes have started.

 

The word “no” brings results fast

The word “no” attracts attention. A negative message attracts attention. And we can expect a fast reaction to such words. Negative words result in a very fast reaction of brain. Why?

Because such words are like alert and inform about danger. Yes, this way we have fast and sometimes wanted reaction of a person. But let’s remember that words and actions under stress are very often irrational. In danger person can do and say things that they would never do under normal circumstances. So a co worker is able to accept everything. A child does what a parent wants. This way a manager gets a fast done task by an employer.

So the goal is achieved, we think. But can we see what such communication brings in future?

 

The word “no” doesn’t help to build relations

We know that using negative words doesn’t help to build relations and I believe that even more- negative words kill relations. Relation is a long term issue which requires stable emotion and trust. Negative messages care only about a goal and they neglect empathy which is like oxygen in a good relation. Do you agree?

If yes, so choose words wisely and speak slowly and you overcome a brain tendency to negative messages. repeating positive words, like love, peace, joy reduce stress people who can hear them.

Yes, I know that we are surrounded by negative communications, but we can limit them:

  • choose what you watch and read,
  • choose people who use positive words
  • create at least 5 positive messages for 1 negative message which you created or heard (see: za: Fredsikson, Losada, Gottman).

 

If you’d like to knwo more, read: Andrew Newberg, Mark Robert Waldman Words Can Change Your Brain

Proofreader: Marta Korsak.

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