Communication – how to ask in order to get it

04.01.2016

You have a dream. But you have no money and what do you do? Do you postpone your dream? Do you give up? It is enough to use the power of communication and ask.

 

A story of Tinker, so what’s happened on Facebook

A beautiful house Tinker was a dream at least for one person. Bur Dominika, as most of us, prolonged her dream for future. It happens often, doesn’t it? Quite often we are ready mentally , but we cannot afford it as we think.

Dominika did something that most people don’t do – she created a Facebook event and this way she asked her friends to support her in making her dream come true. She asked clearly about money – 10 zloty (or whatever you want) and to make her dream come true and get a special present on her birthday. I asked Dominika Jasińska ( who is a coach uses NVC) why she had decided to do this:

I trust people around – I knew that they’d support me. By the way I had an opportunity to meet some beliefs. Firstly, that we can afford something if we earn for it. Than dreams must be prolonged. That it’s impolite to ask about something, especially money. That it is not fine to ask about money for pleasure. And some more. But deeply in my heart I knew that people, my friends, would follow that truly speaking I fight against my fear and shame.

Dominika Jasińska

 

Ask and you get it – is it so simple?

It appears that asking is for most of us a great challenge. It’s leaving the comfort zone which we leave with much effort and some of us even never leave it. There are stereotypes and prejudies, e.g it is not good to ask and talking about money should be avoided. I asked Dominika if we have problems and blokades connected with asking:

 

Yes, we have and they appeared in messages which I received from these people who supported me and those who didn’t, because such people also were there. Asking is a kind of exhibitionism, showing your sensibility, weakness and sensitivity. Here we can be hurt easily, especially when somebody’s opinion is negative. Even the thought of it is terrible.

 

How to ask? Honestly!

When we overcome blocades and leave the comfort zone; when we are familiar with a possibility of hearing ‘no’ , whar next? Then we are close to the make dream come true (big deal!) and jus this moment we are ready for a great event in life which is asking for support:

  • You know that this is really important for you and it is worth asking for support, so you believe in yourself and trust people,
  • You ask by delivering a clear message what you need and what way this support can be delivered, so you are ready to open questions about how much money and what for,
  • You remember to show how much it is important for you, so you share your deep personal feelings,
  • You answer questions, you accept denies and you face doubts, so you talk.

Dominika asked and received. Tinker is her, so her dream came true. So my next question to her is: how to ask?

I don’t know. It seems to me that from the bottom of the heart. Honestly. And clearly to let people know what to do. And let’s believe that we can get it – that we are worth it and that we are important for others. On the others hand, let’s be open to talk.

Dominika Jasińska is a  trener, a coach and a mediator who uses in her work Non Violence Communication (NVC). http://dominikajasinska.pl/

 

Proofreader: Marta Korsak.

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